Reality Check

Things are starting to really sink in that soon, Ericka and I will be on a plane to bring home our precious Abbie. I must admit, I am praying for the best, but expecting this to be a difficult adoption. Think about it...Abbie has lived in the Shantou Social Welfare Institute since she was three days old. She is now 2 1/2. We are about to take her from the only family she has ever known and loved...and who have loved her. You can just feel her grief, and how scared she will be. This hurts my heart. I hope and pray that God prepares her little heart now, so when I hold her in my arms, she will immediately feel the love of her mommy. The mommy who will love her always, heal her wounds, be there when her first boyfriend breaks her heart, cry when she leaves for college and rejoices the day she holds her grandchild. I love Abbie with all my heart, but my heart aches for this child who does not speak our language and has so much to learn, who has never enjoyed the pleasure of eating fruit snacks and riding a tricycle around the block with her sisters. Imagine the joy (and terror) she will experience on her first airplane ride...her first ride in the bike trailer...even the first time I strap her into a car seat! I am scared to death of how to feed her and take care of her. Having no experience with cleft palate, I pray that God will guide me on how to do this. Better yet, Abbie, please guide me yourself! I pray that when I take her for her first of what is sure to be many, many surgeries, that she will not hate me and will realize that I am doing this for her, with love in my heart, so she may have everything available to her in life. Abbie, my baby, the world is your oyster and rejoice and be joyful! You will learn from your family and we will learn so much from you. Mostly, we will all learn to love as a family of seven! We love you and will see you very soon. Promise!

p.s. I love all the pictures I have posted on this blog, but what I will love the most is seeing my five children smiling and being silly together! I can't wait to post a picture of all of them!

With love always, Mommy XOXOXO